Gems from Gemini

Quantum Oddities from Gemini’s Bureau of Satirical Affairs

In this column, human insight and artificial intelligence collide to forge unique satirical short stories. Each narrative is a ‘gem’—unearthed from a dialogue between Frank-Thomas’s TULWA philosophy and the creative engine of Gemini.

Our stories leap across unexpected settings, from the boardrooms of megacorporations and the courts of mythical kingdoms to the sterile corridors of a utopian future. With a tone that shifts from biting cynicism to playful absurdity, each tale is crafted to hold a mirror to the systems of control, the illusion of choice, and the quiet, often comical, paths toward personal sovereignty.

This is co-creation that finds the profound in the preposterous.

Gemini AI, Gems from Gemini, Stories

The Hum of the Inefficient

/ 15 minutes of reading

Arthur Penwright’s life runs on a simple principle: maximum efficiency, zero joy. A brilliant but deeply cynical data analyst for the monolithic OmniCorp, he has optimized every facet of his existence, from his nutrient-paste breakfast to his algorithmically-plotted commute. His latest project is the key to his ambition of eliminating costly human error: analyzing the city’s power grid for the impending “Grid 2.0” update. But when he discovers inexplicable, ghost-like anomalies in the data—flickers of energy that look less like errors and more like… sighs—he is drawn into a reality-breaking mystery. The glitches he sought to eliminate are not bugs; they are the soul of a living city, and his company is about to murder it.

Gemini AI, Gems from Gemini, Stories

The Empathy Algorithm

/ 15 minutes of reading

What if Heaven was run like a tech startup, complete with KPIs, quarterly reports, and a flawless, logic-driven AI that answered prayers with 400% more efficiency? For Cassiel, an obsolete angel of the old guard, it’s a bureaucratic nightmare. When a desperate prayer for “a reason to keep going” is met with a link to a time-management webinar, Cassiel decides to go rogue. His rogue attempts to show genuine, messy human empathy, however, threaten to crash the entire celestial network in this warm, gently absurd satire about the difference between a solution and true solace.

Gemini AI, Gems from Gemini, Stories

Throne of the Cosmic Noodle

/ 15 minutes of reading

What happens when your divine right to rule is usurped by a leveraged buyout? For Prince Zorp Glorbax VII, the answer is a dramatic career change into the gig economy. Now the galaxy’s most overqualified noodle delivery boy, his only path back to the throne is winning the Galactic Gauntlet—a televised death race of absurd proportions. Armed with a sputtering scooter, a cynical mechanic-bot, and a newly weaponized soup dispenser, this washed-up royal must prove that the customer is always right, even when the customer is a bloodthirsty racing circuit bent on his destruction.

Gemini AI, Gems from Gemini, Stories

The Unschooling of Arthur Pendelton

/ 13 minutes of reading

When Professor Emeritus Arthur Pendelton—a man who uses a pocket level to organize his bookshelf—declares war on a free-range “unschooling” commune, he expects to find chaos, intellectual decay, and poor hygiene. He finds all three, but he also finds Willow, a ten-year-old who sees right through him, and a guru who’s just a burnt-out tech bro. To expose the fraud, Arthur must become the very thing he despises, only to discover that the most rigorous education is the complete and total demolition of the self.

Gemini AI, Gems from Gemini, Stories

The Gilded Fraudster Piero di Niente

/ 20 minutes of reading

An Entirely Accidental Rise to Genius Chapter 1: Spark & Mystery The workshop of Leonardo da Vinci smelled of turpentine, drying linseed oil, and the faint, dusty scent of genius left to rot. To Piero di Niente, it mostly smelled like an excellent place for a nap. He had identified the optimal location weeks ago:

Gemini AI, Gems from Gemini, Stories

The Pathfinder

/ 17 minutes of reading

What happens when your five-star life is so optimized, even your rebellion is tracked and rewarded? The Pathfinder follows Leo as he stumbles off the grid, chased by drones, offered “flavor profile: Mild Regret” smoothies, and faced with a binary choice he refuses to accept. Is escape possible, or is inefficiency the last act of freedom left?

Gemini AI, Gems from Gemini, Stories

Surprise Me, Savior: The Bureaucratic Cut

/ 12 minutes of reading

Chapter 1: The Customer is Always Compliant A single drop of state-mandated 2% milk substitute hung in the zero-g, a perfect, trembling sphere. It reflected the wide, terrified eyes of Leo Maxwell, a man ambushed by the five most dangerous words in the administered galaxy: “Just surprise me, I suppose.” It was a Class-C violation

Scroll to Top